Unnatural Emotions And Behaviours

It’s GREY not GRAY. I leant the Queen’s English mate.

This the area where wrong and right merge, dark and light co-exist and nothing said can or would be held against the author in a court of law, morals, social norms, tennis or any other court implied but not limited to, any meaning perceived from the word court.

Warning: Opinions herein contained are not even necessarily the author’s own.
What will appear in this article is a list of emotions I strongly believe are unnatural to human beings, and their adaptation can not be reasonably explained by neither evolution nor necessity (who happens to be the legal mother of invention) and whose beginning I lay squarely at the door of unpredictable mutations (they do come with the warning: expect the unexpected), herd mentality and the desire to fit in or miscreant genes from our ancestors that resulted in the soon to be discussed monkey business:

Chivalry
This is a trait that is a result of too much romanticization, probably by the Gauls after one too many wars. No evolving stone age man would have carried a baby for his woman (children being a stone age woman's only carry on): what do you do in an ambush? fight the attackers after throwing down the baby or use it as a club? Moral of the story: Being a gentleman in a not so gentle world puts you and anyone stupid enough to rely on you in peril and might get you killed.
 Its an axiom that good guys lives are too short and jerks have always seem to live too long and thrive too well. Think Hitler, Napoleon (not the drink though that flow of thought when reading my article is not too out of line), Bush. I'm just saying...

Ladies First
If you were to tell a lady to get into a cave before you or lead the way in an unmarked, unlit jungle path in the name of being a gentleman (I think this is actually someone's ides of irony), you would have had to resort to clubbing them over their heads pretty soon, for you would have been considered a pussy.

Not meaning to be rude
If you have ever used these words, you were either being ironical or naive, for you were rude. It like a doctor telling you they will pull out your teeth without anesthesia and telling you they don't mean to cause you pain. Tell that to the over firing neurons, you quack!
Incessant apologizing is not a normal human reaction but rather a result of taking too many guilt trips, whether voluntary or forced. Cut down on the travelling a bit.

OMG 
really? if you were as suprised as you would have us believe, talking should be a problem right about now and if you still had your tongue (somehow the cat didn't quite get it), a more appropriate and natural response would be wtf?

Gosh/Woishe
Do I even need to get into this?