EVOLUTION AND REVOLUTION

It’s GREY not GRAY. I leant the Queen’s English mate.
This the area where wrong and right merge, dark and light co-exist and nothing said can or would be held against the author in a court of law, morals, social norms, tennis or any other court implied but not limited to, any meaning perceived from the word court.
Warning: Opinions herein contained are not even necessarily the author’s own.
If you are a proponent of the theory of evolution and apply it as I do, what I am to write is something obvious to you. I have many reasons to believe evolution took place, for the stupidity I witness can only be attributed to miscreant leftover genes from our apes’ ancestors activating if humans were to remain intelligent creatures. Correcting for personal bias (I am open-minded like that), you will surely have noticed that the times have changed: Gone are the wide-eyed romance stories told by the fireside that beat any silhouette novel hands down (I became interested in literature pretty young). Your eyes simply teared. Damn this smoke!
She and your dad met while he was a broke bachelor, with a stool and a bed as his sole possessions. How they learnt what sukuma-wiki really meant and working hard saved enough so you can now demand nothing short of Shangri-la matters when it comes to your heart. The bliss of youth; recall ignorance is bliss. Pretend to have read my other articles (and if you did kudos) and surmised that I abhor gold-diggers, but even I have to admit that as the times have changed, so have the benchmarks and scales on which women measure and weigh us (make no mistake; you are weighed, measured, and if not lucky like me, mostly found wanting). I shall provide a quick rundown of these changed benchmarks.
Bravery
Urban Vibez: Go-Getter
Back in the day, sorry, stone age, women wanted someone who came back with the battle’s loot and could hold down the fort in case of an attack. My guess is this was the beginning of the Kenyan Bimbo stereotype of an ideal man: Tall and dark. I don’t know about the tall, but dark was essential if one was to blend in with the dark and whisk away the other village’s girl by the stream at twilight. The women who are a step ahead of the rest of us in our current enlightenment however (read gold-diggers and whores) go for a differently qualified man: Pot-bellied with a second-hand car and if he has several businesses and estates, the better. First seek the kingdom of richesneous, and most women shall be yours as well.
Village Hero
Urban-Vibez: Celeb
I recall reading a book about a boy whose cow was rustled (its cattle rustling right?) and how he used his awesome tracking skills and retrieved the beloved cow using his sling to immobilize the enemy, incidentally armed with guns. I remember it for although I really enjoyed it, I was disappointed by its ending, for all he got for his heroics was a feast. In my remixed version, I could visualize the girl who would offer me her garden’s maiden fruits (fresh firm oranges she had just harvested from her thriving backyard garden) while trying to create holographic images of some of silhouette vivid descriptions.
Today, raiding is not a viable economic activity and everyone needs their village hero. Enter the celeb. In many ways, they are like the village hero: Well known, flamboyant and love to hear other sing and create pose of their deeds. The similarities end there: Most have done nothing worth writing about and are well known not for protecting their villages but for flashing boobs on stage and revealing their stupidity in the name of an attitude in public. Fair trade for most people I guess.
Village Baby Pusher
Urban Vibez: Whore, Gold-digger etc.
The term was as a consequence of ineffective birth control methods, an enormous libido coupled with minute self-control and material greed often resulting to a crowd of children. Then it was clothes, jewelry graduating to herds of cattle and a mud hut. Nowadays clothes, jewelry, cars and a suburbia mansion will do. Sometimes evolution results only in surface changes of our desires or their getting bigger.
This is where the principle of action and reaction and yin-yen balance come in; the consequences are greater too. Then it was a horde of children and becoming the village pariah. Today it’s STIs, AIDS, pimps, cops and stigmatization. Next time we have a national disaster caused by blind leadership, a good diversion might be the need to reform the first profession’s industry rules and working conditions.
Dowry
Urban vibez: Money, Cheddar etc.
It was paramount that before you could ask a maiden’s hand in marriage, you ensure that your father could afford to pay the dowry and if not:
a) Work until you can afford to do it yourself
b) Elope with the maiden
c) Be a bachelor
Today, most women will not hear of dowry being paid to their parents, much to the relief of the struggling brother. What he did not ask was why, and had he done it, he would not have been given the correct answer: Because most women have the intention of collecting it themselves. By the way C was not much of an option then, but I put it there as much to remind you as myself that it is an option.
If you require me to point out the relationship between finance and today’s romance, try reading something with pictures and butterfly drawings.
WHAT THE FRUIT
People are constantly drawing parallels between apes' mating behavior and ours: the male giving the female grub for sex. First of all, am not an Effing monkey and secondly, how about men retrogress back to clubbing you over the head, only now we can use sleeping darts and chloroform? Never try to convince anyone to do anything because an animal does it, and if you are a believer in animal unpretentious ways, why don’t you take all the clothes off and run cooing around? The mental image is not too bad for a hot gal really.